you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How external is "for external use only"?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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