I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
