Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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