I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
