carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
