I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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