Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Is Oprah even human
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
