I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
