Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
