I love black thongs
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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