and she was petting her beer can
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
