there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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