Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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