sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
