I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
