can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Hippo gnu deer
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
