hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
