i would punch a child for taco bell
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
