day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
