okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
