I wannas sexs uuuuu
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
