Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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