you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
