But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize