I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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