it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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