How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize