I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
