jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
