Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
