Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
