wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
