Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
