Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize