on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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