dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
