I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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