'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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