Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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