I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Can you bring me the toilet please
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
