I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
