Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize