FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm too high and old for this...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
