I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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