Umm I'm too high to move.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
