Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
