yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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