apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
