i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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