she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
