i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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