I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
