Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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