Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
